Call the doctor - my brain is bloggered!

You know I want to wear these shorts and parade around town in them for the looks. I bought these shorts and paraded about my house for hours looking at the package I was provided at birth. I felt the need to unhinge my mind from the lust of my narcissism. I should play a record. The Moggs' Amulet just came but my phonograph is cluttered with movies I promised myself I would watch but I can't watch a movie and surf the internet like a freak wearing those shorts.

Math + Proof = God

I'll let a secret out. A small secret. I am a scientist. And going through the school system and college and post-graduate and even in my current position numbers and equations are everywhere and they must be utilized. Can't get out of that. And growing up and learning all of these things the teachers, and instructors, and professors, and Nazi-esque bosses have always said "show proof of your answer." "Show how you came to your conclusion." And I take that to my everyday life. I don't want the answer, I want to know how you got it.

I take that to my constant predicament of God. God and religion is faith based. But I struggle with faith and truth. Show me the proof. I understand what the church says. I don't always agree with it. I go to church on a regular basis and I like the things that I hear but it still doesn't prove to me what is going on. I don't want to be an atheist or even an agnostic. I want to believe, but when I deal with people every work day that have cancer, and AIDS, and failure of organ systems, when I see 22,000 people killed in Myanmar (they need a mission to Burma now!), and when I read bible stories of how God allowed or even committed acts of violence and murder and we're supposed to find relief in that book and use that book as proof, and when church leaders use their power over the poor and the weak for their own gains... - posted by Bob One

Women Wearing Animal Prints

I got a problem. I perceive women who wear clothes in leopard prints to be uppity snobs. Yeah, occasionally you'll see a cool punk rock girl wearing something with a leopard print, but what I find most often is a rich snob telling the world that she has domain over everything including the animals of the world and you, if you're a blue collar scum bag she can sick her husband on. - posted by Bob One

Legal Sale of Souls

The intersection of Highways 49 and 61 is the mythological crossroads where Robert Johnson allegedly sold his soul to the devil in exchange for his musical skills.

When I was in the 2nd grade I did a bad thing. I dropped or spilled this guys lunch box. I am pretty sure it was an accident. The guy's name was Ricky Crissman. That was 30 years ago. I have no idea where on Earth this guy is. Anyway, I told him I wasn't the one who did the damage and he asked if I was telling the truth. I said I was. He told me to swear to it and if I was lying I would agree to go to Hell. I told him I wasn't lying. So at that time I guess I told the devil my soul was his.

Now the question is this: When am I legally responsible for my soul? How old to I have to be to actually offer it to the devil for his mischievious deeds and eternal damnation and hell fire. I was probably 7 years old at the time - is that a binding contract? Or am I still under God's comforting wing? -posted by Bob One

Its Not the Drunk Driver's Fault

Yes, yes, I know. Drinking and driving is always wrong. There is never any type of justification for drinking and driving. There is also no reason for running stop signs. A child was being sewn up in the Emergency Department after a fall and the father comes storming in and was bragging to his wife and little girl, "you should have seen me, I was running stop signs and red lights and speeding through intersections to get here." And the young man sewing up the little girl stopped what he was doing and said "what if you would have killed somebody speeding over here? Would that have helped your little girl?" Dirty looks were exchanged.

...but my story strays.

I had a couple of drinks with my BIL looking over some plans for a project we're in on together, and the drinks were more delicious than I paid attention to. So I am driving back to my flat and was feeling mighty good and worried at the same time because if I got pulled over I would worry about passing a sobriety test. I felt fine but thats what all the drunks say. And out of nowhere this fuck on a cell phone not paying attention just about T-bones me and I am thinking, how would that affect me? I was totally in the right of way and I get fucked up by a cell phone. Whose side would the police be on? Would I still lose the argument because I was mildly intoxicated even though I was in the right of way? Or would that be fate or karma? - posted by Bob One

Snot Boogie

Don't get in my way today. As I try to enjoy life and music and "The Wire" which they only carry at the video shoppe 3 towns away, I got this crud coming out of my nose non-stop and on my sleeves and T-shirts and pillows, and dogs, and kids. I just finished spending days in the forest with no problems and I come home and have this junk. I am thirsty and miserable. - posted by Bob One

One of my favorite sounds

You'll have to imagine that that is ice cold water (the public services here aren't very good at keeping code, sometimes the water is that color).

But, one of my favorite sounds of all time is the sound of ice cold water getting poured into a styrofoam cup. Now I know that environmentally speaking styrofoam is a no no. Christmas trees are a no no, motorcycles pollute badly, there are just some things that are bad, and I am guilty of participating in them, I try to keep them at a limit. Just that sound of crispness really makes me feel good. And if I use a styrofoam cup I'll use it for like two weeks and then properly dispose of it. - posted by Bob One